do you have the guts to love me

Saturday, March 25, 2006
9:03 PM

well i got my new laptop today. yupp. it has this built in camera that can be used as webcam i guess. worse is to come, i probably expect myself to stay online for a longer time keeping an eagles eye on someone when he comes online. stupid oreo why cant you just show up for once..

biology test was on friday and i hope i did manage to scrape a pass though. now i shall worry about physics test even though it isnt worth worrying about. but if i fail this test, mr lim is going to pull me out for remedials on physics. what the hell. can you imagine me skipping band or anything else just to attend his lesson? NO WAY. the fact is, just as long as i get a pass i dont give it a damn. ah well.

boring school life, i am suddenly deprived of laughter. recalling those times when jien was still in dhssb taking the section then all of a sudden i would go laughing and the rest would be somewhat infected with my laughter. times have changed. what will it be like next year? would i still be in band? i dont know and i dont really want to think about it but i really pray that my FT will change. seriously.

my mind is suddenly like a whirlpool, pulling me down and making me unconscious of what i am and have been doing. hofner doesnt shine as much as it used to. oreos have started experiencing adrenal rush and yeah you know.. life is short. i cant be waiting for oreos for half my life. i have been waiting since last year. give me more oreos and something might change, be it for the better or for the worse.

art is bad. terrible since this year. i seriously think i lost my skills for painting. maybe what mrs goh said is right. my skills have been given to vina and ruijie. all the same it sounds rather demoralising. not that i can help, but my mind is hardly in focus these days. chinese is the only subject that i have yet to fail anything yet and besides that 1/2 mark that made me fail math test, i think these are my better two subjects at the moment, something contrasting from last year when it was biology and art.

because of this inconsistency, i cant plan any thing i would want to do in the future. studying marine biology seemed near last year but now, it is even further than the moon. now, politics seem nearer but i doubt that possibility. maybe next year i might decide to go into music which is highly unlikely. i dont know. i am seriously lost. it is definitely an omen of the starting of the term, the starting of a beginning. where am i?

<3 me if you dare-`